


Sleepy Rambles

by halo_nightwing



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Mild Language, Miscommunication, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, half-awake boys with no filter, it's "shit", like one swear word, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:28:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halo_nightwing/pseuds/halo_nightwing
Summary: Keefe didn’t think he was in love with Dex. He’s denied it all before, the feelings he felt were just the feelings of a simple crush that would go away soon.But, Keefe told himself that months ago when the sunlight caught Dex’s face just right and Keefe couldn’t look away, and he realized Oh, Dex was beautiful.Keefe was definitely in love with Dex, and he didn’t love him back.That hurt more than it should have.
Relationships: Dex Dizznee/Keefe Sencen
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	Sleepy Rambles

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of [linhamon-roll's](https://linhamon-roll.tumblr.com) Keefex posts on tumblr:
> 
> [Angst #1](https://linhamon-roll.tumblr.com/post/628720091915288576/hey-ever-think-about-keefe-and-dex-being-by)
> 
> [Angst #2](https://linhamon-roll.tumblr.com/post/632808331425333248/softly-hey-dex-and-keefe-talking-at-a)
> 
> Make sure to go check out his tumblr! Enjoy!!

They were all at a sleepover at Havenfield, him and Dex the last ones up, everyone else having fallen asleep due to a sugar crash a while ago. Honestly, Keefe was surprised at how Dex was still awake with the way he could barely keep his eyes open. He seemed determined to stay up and talk to Keefe though, and he tried to push the fuzzy feelings that gave him deep down.

He watched as Dex continued to talk without pause beside him on the floor in his own sleeping bag. Keefe was content to listen to Dex’s late night rambles that made absolutely no sense to Keefe and a hundred percent sense to Dex, that went in dozens of different directions that the empath couldn’t keep up with. 

Keefe was watching Dex dazedly through half-lidded eyes, a small smile on his face that probably made him look like some lovesick fool, but Keefe was too tired to care. Dex paused in his rambles, glancing at Keefe through his almost closed eyes, before sighing slightly.

“‘ave I tol’ you I was ‘n love?” quiet in the night air, his words slurring together, the moonlight catching on Dex’s hair. Everything was silent after that declaration, save for the soft breathing of their sleeping friends.

It took him a few seconds too long to realize what Dex said.

Keefe sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly feeling very awake, his eyes widening. It felt like his world stopped, every touch and glance that lingered a beat too long on Dex, every time they were together, felt meaningless now if Dex was in love with someone else.

Who managed to catch the technopath’s eyes so strongly, enough for Dex to say he was  _ in love _ without a doubt in his mind?

Keefe didn’t think he was in love with Dex. He’s denied it all before, the feelings he felt were just the feelings of a simple crush that would go away soon.

But, Keefe told himself that months ago when the sunlight caught Dex’s face  _ just right _ and Keefe couldn’t look away, and he realized  _ Oh, Dex was beautiful. _

Keefe was definitely in love with Dex, and he didn’t love him back.

That hurt more than it should have.

But he knew Dex would never love him back, he was too perfect for Keefe, and why would fate decide to pair Dex with someone as broken as him?

He focused on Dex’s face, his dimples making an appearance on his cheeks. Keefe let out a slow measured breath and opened his mouth to answer.

“Yeah?” as quiet as Dex was. He was grateful his voice sounded mostly even. He certainly didn’t feel very even.

“Yeah, he‘s ‘mazing. And he’s really pretty.” Dex tilted his head towards Keefe as he said this, but Keefe was too busy looking at Dex’s sleeping bag instead of him, his eyebrows furrowed. Keefe was still stuck on the first sentence.  _ He? _

He cleared his throat to try and get past the knot that was stuck. “Do I know this really pretty boy?” He tried to put on a teasing smile, but he could tell it fell short. 

Keefe couldn’t look at Dex, couldn’t see him so happy talking about the boy he was in love with.

Dex hummed quietly, his eyes closed, a slight smile gracing his mouth. “You do. You’re ‘ood friends with ‘im.” 

_ Good friends? _ Then it had to be either Fitz or Tam, and Keefe definitely doesn’t remember Dex becoming really close to either of them.

But if Dex was happy, then Keefe was happy. And if Dex was happy talking about them to Keefe, then Keefe would let him, no matter how much it hurt.

Dex continued to talk, not giving him a chance to respond.

“He just makes m’ feel really ‘afe ‘n warm,” Dex’s lips barely moving. “‘akes ‘e feel  _ seen.  _ Y’know?”

Keefe nodded jerkily, the knot in his throat grew, making it hard to talk. He did know, because that’s exactly what Dex made him feel.

“‘elps me set pranks.”  _ I thought that was our thing,  _ he wanted to say.

“When ‘m sad, he makes me ‘appy.”  _ I thought I did that.  _ Keefe bit his lip.

__ Dex’s smile grew, and it was gorgeous, oh so gorgeous, and it wasn’t meant for him. All those smiles directed at Keefe before have never been as breathtaking as this one. The one of a lovestruck boy so hopelessly in love. The one he can look at forever.

Keefe’s eyes burned.

“Make’s me forget ‘verything ‘lse when he’s near.”  _ I want to do that. _

After all the things he’s been through, all the absolute  _ shit _ he’s suffered, and it’s never come close to hearing Dex talk about the person he loves. Dex was so close, Keefe could easily reach out and touch him, but no. He’s not the one Dex wants.

Distantly he heard Dex say something about ice blue, but he was too busy wondering if this was Hell. If this is his punishment for joining the Neverseen before.

Dex opened his eyes slightly, the moonlight catching on the blue, and looked at Keefe, his vision blurred slightly from unshed tears. Tears that he was thankful the dark hid from Dex.

“He’s perfect.” And  _ oh,  _ that one hurt.  _ He _ wanted to be Dex’s perfect boy.  _ He _ wanted to be the one Dex was talking about.  _ He _ wanted a life with Dex. Charming, graceful, angelic Dex, with stars on his face instead of freckles, periwinkle eyes, and strawberry-blond hair.

Keefe wanted to yell out, to tell Dex he loved him, to tell him to be with him instead. But, he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t hurt Dex that way. Keefe would rather die than hurt Dex ever.

He was so stupidly in love with Dex.

It hurts.

“And his ‘air is really sof’.”  _ Please stop. _

“‘as the most beautiful smile.” _ Please. _

The knot in his throat grew and grew, suffocating him, keeping his voice in, and Keefe was sure he would never be able to talk again. His vision blurred more, until Dex was just a dark figure in the night, tears threatening to spill.

“I’d die for ‘im.”  _ No. _

_ No. _

_ No. _

_ Stop. _

_ Please. _

His mouth shaped the words. No sound came out.

Dex seemingly didn’t care that Keefe wasn’t responding, just kept on going, stabbing a knife into his heart over, and over, and over again.

“He’s so selfless ‘nd kind. Beautiful.”  _ You are too. _

“Stood by me ‘ll th’ time.”  _ I should have done that. _

“I wish I could kiss him.”  _ I wish I could kiss you. _

“‘nd I’m just me.”  _ Don’t say that, you’re amazing. _

All the things he wants to say, choking him, holding him by the throat, laughing in his face at his suffering.

Keefe clenched his hands underneath his sleeping bag, his nails making tiny crescent moons in his skin.

“I love ‘im s’much.” Keefe blinked and his tears finally fell, the darkness hiding his face in shadows.

_ Please. _

_ Stop. _

_ It hurts. _

Dex laughed quietly. “‘m tired. G’night, Keefe.”

How can he compete with this boy, this boy that Dex obviously loves so dearly? Keefe would never win.

The hand around his throat loosened just enough for him to say “Sweet dreams,” his voice rough and quiet, before tightening it’s hold again, stopping the next three words from escaping:

_ I love you. _

* * *

Dex woke up slowly the next morning, the smell of breakfast and his friends’ laughter drifting through the opened door. He laid there a moment, listening to the commotion downstairs.

_ Have I told you I’m in love? _

Last nights whispered words repeated in his mind. Dex bolted up in a panic, his eyes flying open.

Why did half-awake Dex with absolutely no filter have to admit that? And, knowing how Dex gets when half-awake, he probably rambled and even if he didn’t outright admit it was Keefe, he sure could have gotten it from the context clues. Keefe’s not stupid.

Now Keefe knows he loves him, and Dex doesn’t like rejection. He  _ knows _ Keefe will reject him, after all, why would he love him? He’s just Dex, the group’s technopath, no other special talents.

Dex looked around Sophie’s bedroom, rumpled sleeping bags littering the floor, everyone else having already woken up. The space a certain blond-haired boy occupied beside Dex noticeably empty of his belongings.

His eyebrows furrowed before he stood up and rubbed his eyes. Dex sighed, suddenly feeling even more tired than he was a second before.

He made his way downstairs into the kitchen, bracing for the awkwardness there was no doubt going to be between him and Keefe. He mumbled “Mornin’” to his friends talking quietly around the table, instantly noticing a lack of Keefe.

Linh looked up and smiled. “Morning!” she said loudly, smiling apologetically when everyone else groaned and glared at her.

“It’s way too early for you to be that happy.” Tam spoke next to his sister.

“It’s almost lunch time.”

Tam glared at her. “I rest my case.”

Dex shuffled his way over to the table and filled a bowl with who knows what and shoved it in his mouth. 

He looked around the table at his friends, everyone—except Linh—looking half dead, probably from the fact they gorged themselves on mallowmelt and ripplefluffs and stayed up for most of the night.

Dex took another bite of his breakfast, before talking. 

“Where’s Keefe?”

Shrugs around the table, he turned to Sophie. She studied his face for a moment, a small frown appearing on her lips before answering.

“He just said that his father told him to go back to the Shores of Solace.”

Dex nodded, turning back to his food. That sounded like the biggest lie ever. Dex knows that Keefe avoids his problems, and he’s obviously avoiding Dex now.

His throat tightened. Keefe leaving without even letting Dex explain hurt more than if he just outright rejected him.

Dex knew Keefe would never love him back.

It still hurt though.

He ate the rest of his food in silence.

* * *

The rest of the weekend passed without any word from Keefe. Normally he would at least hail Dex on his imparter or spontaneously show up at his house.

Those were Dex’s favorite days.

But Dex showed up at Foxfire on Monday, and all he was offered was a thin-lipped smile before Keefe turned away down a different hallway.

* * *

Keefe wanted to be with Dex, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to get through one conversation without asking  _ why. _ Why couldn’t it be him? Why was this boy so special?

Keefe could tell Dex was worried about him, and he hated how warm that made him feel. How happy it made him that even if Dex loved someone else, he still cared for Keefe.

He didn’t hate the boy Dex loved. Keefe doesn’t think he could ever hate him, but he definitely envies him. He envies the fact that he managed to get Dex to fall in love with them. Envies that he gets all of Dex’s lovestruck smiles, that he gets to occupy Dex’s thoughts and Dex could think  _ Yeah, I love him. _

But, it was okay. It was all okay. If Dex was happy, he was happy.

* * *

Dex was walking with Marella to their next class down a crowded hallway on Wednesday, the blonde girl talking enough for both of them about the latest gossip, while she added another braid to her hair. He let her chatter fade into the background as he continued to walk.

He wasn’t looking where he was going and bumped into someone, their books falling to the floor.

Stuttered apologies spilled from his lips as Dex bent down to pick up the books, Marella’s talking pausing for a moment.

Dex stood and met Keefe’s ice blue eyes as he handed Keefe his books back, before they shuttered and Keefe was on his way again.

Marella glanced at him, about to ask a question, but Dex sighed and moved down the hallway.

* * *

Dex looked at Keefe, sitting as far away from him as possible at the lunch table his friends occupied. 

_ Talk to me. _

_ Please. _

* * *

The rest of the week passed with no word from Keefe, and even the rest of their friends could tell something was wrong between them.

Sophie and Biana confronted him about it, asking what was going on between them. Every one of their friends know how close they are. Everything feels off-kilter with Keefe and him not talking. But Dex just dismissed them with a shake of his head and a shrug, missing the way Sophie’s eyebrows furrowed and the tiny frown that curved Biana’s lips.

Dex decided it was enough.

They needed to talk.

* * *

Keefe was lying on the beach next to the Shores of Solace drawing Dex, but his art could never compare to him in real life.

He was  _ so beautiful, _ it hurts.

Keefe feels bad about basically dropping Dex and not talking to him, but he wanted a few days to just sort his feelings out and be by himself in his misery.

He was just finishing a few freckles on Dex’s face, when he heard the leapmaster turn on, and the very boy he was drawing appeared.

He closed his sketchbook and stood up, body growing tenser each step Dex took closer to him. 

Dex stopped an arm's length away from Keefe, crossing his arms tightly against his chest. Despite the fact that Dex was shorter than him, Keefe felt small under the force of his glare. 

He’s never seen a glare on Dex directed at him before. It was scary.

Keefe looked at him, before looking down at the floor. “Um, hi?” his voice was a lot quieter than normal.

“Hi.” Dex’s tone was clipped, a stark contrast to his normally friendly tone.

Keefe opened his mouth again but Dex continued to talk.

“You know, I thought you at least would have the decency to reject me in person instead of ignoring me for a week.”

_ What? _ His head shot up to stare at Dex. Keefe felt his mouth tilt into a frown, his grip tightening on his sketchbook. 

“I’d never reject you, Dex.”  _ Never. _ “What are you talking about?”

Dex scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well, it sure seems like one.”

Keefe clenched his jaw and took a moment to breathe before answering again.

“What reason would I have to reject you?”

Dex paused before answering this time, taking a step forward, tilting his head, and narrowing his eyes. He studied Keefe as he looked back at Dex in confusion, his fingers tapping nervously against his sketchbook.

“Oh, you know,” Dex started, slowly like he was talking to a child. “Because of what I said at the sleepover.”

_ What he said…? _

All he talked about was how in love he was with the mystery boy.

Dex took another small step forward, his head tilting farther back to be able to see Keefe’s face. He continued when Keefe’s frown grew.

“When I basically confessed to you that I loved you?” it was a statement, but Dex phrased it like a question.

Keefe’s brain short-circuited.

He blinked dumbly at Dex.

The sketchbook fell to the ground.

He must have heard that wrong.

Yeah, that makes sense.

“Can you repeat that?”

“I love you, Keefe.”

He blinked again.

Dex continued. “I’m sorry—“

His eyes flicked to Dex. He knew that tone, the tone he used when he was retreating back into himself, trying to make the situation better for someone else.

Keefe slapped his hand over Dex’s mouth, shutting him up. The shorter boy’s eyes widened.

“Just. Wait a second.”

Keefe looked back at the ground, and he could feel Dex’s gaze on him as he waited.

He ran through every interaction, every single thing Dex said at the sleepover, and it all made sense now.

God, Keefe was so oblivious at the sleepover.

_ Sweet mother of mallowmelt, he loves me. _

_!!!!!! _

After this was all fully processed, Keefe looked back at Dex, his hand still covering his mouth.

“You love me?” he exclaimed.

Dex removed his hand from his mouth. “Yes, Keefe,” his voice was strained, like this pained him to say. “I love you. I’ve said it a few times now.” He shifted his gaze from Keefe’s eyes to the ground, not noticing the smile that Keefe had on his face.

The sadness and longing that Keefe carried around with him all week was replaced with happiness.

“Wait.” Keefe’s face burned as realization struck him. “You were talking about  _ me _ that whole time?”

“Yes,” voice still strained. “I can go now—”

The technopath moved to step back, but Keefe grabbed his hand before he could, watching as Dex turned to look at him in confusion.

He tugged, Dex stumbling towards him, bringing him nose to nose with Keefe. He tilted his head down to look Dex in the eyes.

“I love you too.” Whispered into the space between their lips like a secret. And Keefe could feel the confusion, and then happiness that passed through Dex, before the strawberry blond reeled back in surprise.

“You  _ what? _ ”

Dex was gaping at Keefe, his mouth opening and closing silently.

A dopey grin spread across Keefe’s face as he nodded.

“I love you, Dex.”

“ _ Oh, _ ” a matching grin appeared mirroring Keefe’s, as he closed the space between them again, gazing up into Keefe’s ice blue eyes.

Keefe leaned his forehead against Dex’s, taking a moment to admire him. Then Dex opened his mouth and whispered a question into the air.

“Can I kiss you?”

Keefe nodded. “ _ Please. _ ”

The kiss was soft, barely a brush of their lips before they were pulling away again, but it was the best kiss Keefe has ever had. They lean in again, and it’s still a bit awkward, and the angle isn’t quite right, but they tilt their heads, and  _ oh, _ Keefe wants to kiss Dex forever now.

He felt Dex’s arms wrap around his neck, and Keefe’s arms found the shorter boy’s waste, and they just kept kissing, and Keefe never wanted to stop.

They pulled away after a few more shared kisses, both of their faces flushed red. They stood there and just breathed, arms wrapped tightly around each other like they were scared the other was going to disappear.

“I just have one question.” Dex pulled away slightly as he started to talk. “How did you not realize I was talking about you at the sleepover? You’re almost beating Sophie in the oblivious department.” A teasing grin appeared on Dex’s face.

Keefe groaned, covering his reddening face. “ _ Shut up. _ ”

Dex laughed, pulling Keefe’s hands away from his face and lacing their fingers together.

“I guess I was too focused on the fact that you were in love with someone to try and figure out who it was. I just thought that you suddenly started doing everything we did together with Fitz or Tam.”

Dex nodded. “Well, you don’t have to worry anymore. I’m right here, I’m staying, and I love you.” Dex’s eyes sparkled in the late afternoon light.

Keefe pulled Dex into another kiss and mumbled against his lips, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments and kudos plss, ya girl needs some validation lol.
> 
> I hope you liked it!!


End file.
